by connerdowney

Question by : How to get rid of anxiety and get my “old self” back?
Hello all. I am a 22 year old female. I am supposed to be a senior in college; however, the amount of classes I have failed have put me at the beginning of my junior year. I used to be Biology major until I got kicked out of my program. When I first started going to school, I maintained a high GPA of 3.7. Now it has fallen to 2.0. After this semester I will be on academic probation until I can bring my GPA back up.
My biggest issue as to why my I let my GPA fall so low is ANXIETY. I am literally afraid of school. Not only am I afraid of exams, I am sometimes afraid to sit down and study. When the semester starts off, I am always diligent and get my work done on time. Studying is not so difficult. Towards the middle of the semester, the idea of studying starts to become more difficult. I will often start to study, but I will make up some excuse in my head as to why I have to stop ( i.e. I don’t have enough time to do well on this test, my heart is pounding and I can’t concentrate.) Sometimes I even picture my own professor disappointed at me that I did not do well on the exam!
By the time the semester is coming to an end, I will not show up to exams. There have been a few times where I went to take a final and I had a panic attack before I reached the building. I ended up just leaving and receiving a zero on the final. When the end of the semester approaches, I find it hard to concentrate on anything or just sit down for even five minutes. All I can think about is how nervous I am or how far behind I am in school. I always ask the question, “What is wrong with me? I used to be such a good student. I used to be so fearless about exams and studying.” I usually end up breaking down into tears and often feel depressed about this. It usually destroys all motivation I have to study because I hate the feeling so much.
I don’t know why I am so nervous to take an exam or even to study. I never had this problem in high school or the first two years of college. My mom tends to put a lot of pressure on me and doing well in school, but she always did and it never was a problem until the past year. I cannot recall a specific event that turned me into such a nervous, anxious, student, but something MUST be done before I get kicked out of college.
I would also like to include that all other aspects of my life are great. I have great friends, an amazing boyfriend, great parents who support me, a high self esteem and a fun life full of hobbies. I also believe in the power of positive thinking and positive visualization. I have used positive affirmations, took yoga classes, visualized myself doing well in school, etc. None of this seems to help stimulate motivation to sit down and study or calm the anxiety.
I have made an appointment with the counseling center at my university for next summer semester starting in two weeks. I guess my questions are: What can I do until then? Am I better off seeking a psychiatrist rather than a counselor at school? What is the best remedy for what I am experiencing? What can I do to get out of this hole that I have dug myself in?
Please help! It’s hard knowing that I have all the potential in the world but I have turned into a nervous, anxious, unmotivated student who is terrified of school. This might not seem like a huge deal to those who do not share my anxiety, but let me reassure you that it is a LIVING HELL for me. I hate the feeling of worrying so much that I am unable to focus or do well. I hate the feeling like a panic attack is coming on. I hate feeling so hopeless and feeling like I have no control over school work. Any input would help. Thank you very much for reading  Read more...